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Only The Worst Sports News and Opinions

Mike

NFL Divisional Playoff Round Predictions (based on the Zodiac sign of the starting QB)

Most importantly, our predictions based on the zodiac sign of the starting QB got 4 out of 6 right. Even that is misleading, however, since Dak Prescott is a Leo like Tom Brady.

Blues Griess Refuses to Support Hockey Fights Cancer Night

St. Louis Blues goalie Thomas Greiss made waves across the NHL last night when he refused to wear a pink Hockey Fights Cancer jersey during warm-ups. Citing his religious belief

NFL Wildcard Weekend Predictions (based on the Zodiac sign of the starting QB)

NFL playoff time is upon us! After a weird ass season that saw the defending champs play like chumps and all three Florida teams make the playoffs, we get the real drama. The entire sports world is pouring over stats,…

3 Ways to Fix the College Football Playoffs

The CFP appears to be heading toward a 12-team format, but that isn’t likely to solve most of the problems. The Big 10 and SEC are still going to hold all the power. Regular season games will mean even less, and there’s less reason to schedule meaningful non-conference games. Instead, here’s 3 better proposals for fixing the College Football Playoff.

Tua Tagovailoa Thinks He’s a Fire Truck, Cleared to Play

Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa has been cleared by Dolphins team doctors to play despite thinking he is actually a fire truck.

Cubs Try to Void Swanson Contract, Thought He was Real Estate

The Chicago Cubs have moved to void the contract of free agent shortstop Dansby Swanson after team ownership learned that Swanson is the name of a baseball player and not a property development.

NFL Bans Tackling Quarterbacks

In a surprise move, the National Football League changed their rules to no longer allow defensive players to tackle quarterbacks. The changes come as the NFL has consistently limited the amount of contact with quarterbacks allowed over the past 15…

World Cup 2022 Semifinal Predictions (as chosen by a Magic 8 Ball)

The best part of tournaments like the World Cup, especially in the knockout stage, is that statistical analysis doesn’t mean shit. A team that looked like shit in the group stage, but managed to squeak into the knockouts, can manage…

Tom Brady Slays Immortal, Able to Play Another 400 Years

In a late night duel outside of Raymond James Stadium, Tom Brady defeated Vladislav Dipderkinski to claim Dipderkinski’s powers. Brady, known to most as an NFL superstar, is also a 650 year old immortal participating in a global competition among…

World Cup 2022 Quarterfinal Predictions (as chosen by a Magic 8 Ball)

The Magic 8 Ball predictions, however, went 4 and 4. The losses by Japan, Korea, and Poland should have probably been expected, but the Magic 8 Ball is bold!

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