The best part of tournaments like the World Cup, especially in the knockout stage, is that statistical analysis doesn’t mean shit. A team that looked like shit in the group stage, but managed to squeak into the knockouts, can manage to send powerhouse home just as easily as the powerhouse can trounce the weaker team. 

Most experts got 2 of the 4 quarterfinal round winners correct with all their statistical and strategic analysis. Our Magic 8 Ball, which operates on nothing but luck and vibes, also got 2 of 4 correct. Perhaps our 8 Ball should get those fat analyst checks too! Here’s the picks for the semifinals:

Argentina vs. Croatia

There was a detective show on TV in the 80’s where they showed the crime happen at the beginning of the show, including who the culprit is. The fun part of the show was watching how the detective figured it out. That’s this game in a sense. Everyone knows it’s going to penalties, but the fun is seeing how Croatia- who’s had scoring trouble this entire tournament- is gonna keep up with Argentina’s scoring. This one should also be a fun match up of Argentina’s speed vs Croatia’s age. Oh, and there’s those dudes Messi and Modrić. On paper, Argentina shouldn’t have that much trouble, but Croatia does Croatia things, and we’ll get to a penalty shootout. That’s where the Magic 8 Ball thinks Croatia gets the W and another Final appearance. 

France vs. Morocco

Morocco have become professional giant killers over the past two weeks. Most didn’t pick them to escape their group with Croatia and Belgium, and fewer still picked them to get past Spain. As an encore they finished their conquest of Iberia with a fun win over Portugal that made Ronaldo cry. France hasn’t lost a step from 2018, and Mbappe is still the most dangerous attacker in the game. Against England they seemed to have no problem asserting their will whenever they chose to push forward. In fact, if their defense didn’t make the dumb challenges it seemes likely they was have just sat back absorbing English pressure most of the game. This is a real David vs Goliath matchup, but the same was said for Morocco’s games against Spain and Portugal. However, the Magic 8 Ball is predicting a French victory to end Morocco’s magical run.