In a late night duel outside of Raymond James Stadium, Tom Brady defeated Vladislav Dipderkinski to claim Dipderkinski’s powers. Brady, known to most as an NFL superstar, is also a 650 year old immortal participating in a global competition among secret immortal beings.

Diperkinski instigated the duel inside the stadium, but Brady insisted on moving to the Raymond James Stadium parking lot. One of the rules of the immortal competition is to not fight on holy ground, and football is the only religion firmly believed by Brady. Upon reaching the parking lot, both men drew swords and began to fight. 

After 10 minutes of battle, Diperkinski gained the upper hand on Brady until Brady produced a football from an unknown location. Brady then fired the football at Diperkinski taking his head off his shoulders. Diperkinski immediately fell to the ground and massive amounts of electricity flowed from Diperkinski’s body toward Brady.

While each time an immortal kills another immortal it grants the victor more power, Tom Brady has managed to also turn this power into passing ability. His accuracy in the past has been attributed to eating babies, a deal with the devil, or corruption. However, the reality is Brady slayed another former football playing immortal, Dan Marino, in 2004. Marino is now just impersonated by a man named Dom Norino.

It’s believed that the power Brady inherited from Diperknski will allow him to play for at least another 400 years. Brady hopes this is enough time for him to find another Rob Gronkowski, and he’s immediately begun searching every available bar and alley to find him.