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NFL Bans Tackling Quarterbacks

In a surprise move, the National Football League changed their rules to no longer allow defensive players to tackle quarterbacks. The changes come as the NFL has consistently limited the amount of contact with quarterbacks allowed over the past 15 years. While some hailed the rule changes as needed to protect the highest profile players in the NFL, others pointed out that football is a physical game and hitting is awesome. 

The new rule will require defensive players to gently tag the quarterback anywhere on their jersey. Any tag that is determined to be too rough will be penalized with a 15 yard penalty. If the defensive player tags the quarterback anywhere other than on the jersey, that player will be ejected and their team penalized 15 yards. Finally, if a defensive player touches the quarterback’s head or knocks the quarterback to the ground, the defensive player will be suspended for 36 games. 

“It really just comes down to player safety,” Roger Goodell told reporters. “Players running into each other is potentially dangerous, especially when they do it at full speed. We see it as part of our duty to protect our precious quarterbacks from this kind of violence. After all, they aren’t nearly as tough as, and are far more valuable than, running backs, tight ends, wide receivers, or kick returners.”

“Noooooo! Don’t touch meeeee!”

Many observers have noted that these rule changes often coincide with a high profile quarterback getting injured, such as when Tom Brady was injured. However, others have also pointed out that players like Justin Fields have proven that it is possible for quarterbacks to sometimes run away. 

“I really like the change,” Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford said. “I’ve always felt like we should be able to live in the pocket without any fear of getting hit. I mean, some of these defensive ends and tackles are big guys! And if you think about, everyone is just here to see quarterbacks anyway.”

It is widely believed that this will not be the last rule change to the NFL this season. Among the other proposed changes is a requirement for defensive players to count to ten-Mississippi before blitzing, a rule awarding 3 points for a kick-off through the uprights, and a change prohibiting hitting wide receivers until they say they are ready after a catch.