Chicago Bears quarterback Justin Fields filed a restraining order against his entire offensive line in Cook County Circuit Court. The filed petition noted that Fields fears for his health and safety due to the action of his linemen, and believes they are intentionally trying to maim or kill him. Through 11 games this season, Fields has been sacked 40 times despite being one of the most elusive quarterbacks in the NFL. Fields is asking the court to require his linemen to stay at least 50 feet away from him at all times. During a hearing today, Judge Janet O’Flarty asked Fields if he intends to have his linemen unable to play in front of him on game days, to which Fields responded that he would be safer without a line than his current one.

“Your honor,” Fields said, “I believe my linemen are a bigger danger to me than any defense in the league. At least I know Myle Garrett wants to hit me. You never expect a guy named Cody Whitehair would want to hurt you- especially if he’s on your team!”

In their defense, members of the Bears offensive line claim that they are not conspiring to hurt Fields, but instead are just bad at their jobs. “We’re not trying to get Justin hurt,” Bears center Sam Mustipher said. “We try to stop the defensive guys, but they just run around us! Like I even ask nicely, and they just go! It’s not fair!”

Bears Head Coach Matt Eberflus was unavailable for comment, but Bears General Manager Ryan Poles said he wasn’t unsympathetic to the dangers faced by Fields. “Look, I get that he doesn’t feel safe, but I’m not sure what Justin wants us to do?  I mean, I can probably stick my hand back into the toxic waste dump where I found Dieter Eiselen to see what else is there,” Poles said, referring to Eiselen’s alma mater of Yale. “Perhaps Justin just needs to learn TaeKwonDo.”

Judge O’Flarty is scheduled to rule on the petition soon, if Justin Fields does not end up dead or broken before then.